Introduction to Canada: Why are you here?

Somehow I always manage to be taken aback by how unfriendly customs agents are. I guess it ought to be no surprise- after all, tasked with the mission of preventing unsavory-types from entering their homeland, the job must be a unique combination of high-stakes and incredibly boring. Plus you have to deal with stupid Americans all day. I always approach these people with the cheerful euphoria of someone about the set out on a great adventure, forgetting that to them travelers are both annoying and potentially dangerous. They do not, generally speaking, want my “hello!”s. This has gotten me into trouble before.

The last time I entered Canada I found myself being questioned by a very pretty young woman. Petite with a blonde bob and big black sunglasses covering half her face. I smiled at her, as one tends to do (I tend to do), as she asked me, in increasingly hostile tone, about my Canadian intentions. When she asked me if I was bringing anything into the country, I told her ‘just some souvenirs (smile smile)”. “What kind of souvenirs?” Now getting really pointed “Like guns?” The smile instantly dropped from my face as images of time consuming and unpleasant searches and detentions filled my head. It was now clear to me that this woman intended to be taken very, very seriously. I did my best to match her businesslike tone and may have even called her ma'am. Eventually I got waved through. Although at the time I considered it a close call, I now imagine that as I drove away terrified that she laughed about the incident with her coworkers “Did you see when I asked him if he had guns? He was scared shitless!”

I learn nothing, of course and as always, and approached the interrogation counter today with the same sort of gee-whiz optimism. It didn’t last long. While my customs official today was not quite as hostile, he seemed to be an exceptionally dour and unhappy man. He took a look at my declaration form and was able to quickly spot the standout piece of information. “What are you doing here for a month?”

“I’m planning to take a train across the country!” I enthused

“And why are you doing that?”

It’s a valid question, I guess, but there’s nothing like a direct remark from a stranger to make you unsure yourself. Why am I doing this, exactly?

“I have the summer off” I said, pausing before adding an explanatory “and I wanted to.”

He arched an eyebrow at me as if to say ‘your funeral’ and stamped me through.

His question stuck with me, though- what am I doing here? What possessed me to think that being on a train for more than a full week would be anything like fun? I guess, ultimately, this trip is not about having fun. This trip is meant to be an experience more than a vacation. An experiment in time and solitude. What I’m hoping for is an opportunity to reset my life, a time to figure things out, and come to terms with everything that the last year has been, good and bad. This time last year I was still unemployed, still married (if reading this blog is the way you find out I'm getting divorced, all I can say is 'whoops!'), still living in San Francisco. At best, this trip is what I need to figure out my new normal. At worst, I’m going to have a lot of time to relax. Enjoy the blog everyone, I’ll keep you updated.