Amsterdam it's been a long time since I posted a blog

I mean, a real blog that is. Like, not a rap blog.
This one is gonna be about Amsterdam.
When we last left our hero (me), he (I) was just leaving V's hometown of Witten to go to the Netherlands for a Sigur Ros concert (this will get it's own entry) (usage of parenthesis in one sentance record is now broken (by me)).
Since it's been such a long time I am almost certainly going to have a hard time giving you all the rich blog-experience you so heartily deserve. I will soldier and do my best however, remembering what Amsterdam trivia I can and letting the pictures do most of the talking. Well... we arrived at the train station, which is quite a site in and of itself.
And we walked to the Hostile. This was no easy walk, we got quite lost what with the endless canals
and the narrow streets.
Not that it was a great burden or anything, since we were seeing some beautiful sights.
Actually, now that I think back to it, we were carying all of our possessions with us while we walked (yes, everything I had to lug everything to took to Europe around with me everywhere, the unglorious downside of traveling life) so yeah, it was a great burden.
Eventually we got to the hostil and were greeted with the unfortunate realization that we would be staying in a dorn with 30 something other people. Like, this was a hostile hositle, not a hotel-hostile. I had thought we were getting a 4 person room, but I guess I am an idiot. At least the hostile had going for it that it was very centrally located, a very short walk to all the interesting areas, including the red light district.
So what do I remember about Amsterdam to tell you guys? Well, there were a lot of bikes. More bikes than there are people actually. And something like 100 fall into the canals every day and are fished out by people who have this as a full time job. (Please don't quote me on that figure, it might be completely wrong, but I remember it was some astounding number.)
That night we went to the red light district for dinner, it's really an astounding place. I guess picture Bourbon street with hookers and marijuana everywhere. Next update I will show you guys the concert (complete with videos!) and the time after that we will do some Amsterdam exploring! It turns out I remember a bit more than I expected.
Thanks for reading guys.

Blap Rog is Black

That'z right, everyone's favorite rap blog is back with all new content, let's say three days a week (the days I'm at work).
This blog is still going to be happening, but it's so hard to find the time. It'll certainly be updated less frequently now that I'm always out of the house.

please read my blogs

http://blaprog.blogspot.com

Blog Write, blog, right?

This morning while I was driving to work I saw a guy painting a white wall the color of dirt. He was doing this, presumably, so that no one would be able to tell when the wall got dirty. Then it began to rain.

I like to imagine that this washes the paint away from the way, even though modern paint is probably rain proof even when still wet. But in my mind the wall is white again and he is cursing his poor luck.

Sorry that it's been a while guys, it's hard to adjust to the grind of real life. I still miss the travel. Can't upload pictures while at work and etc. Will be back blogging soon.

The Economy Continues to Decline as Blog Posts Become Less Frequent

Yeah, sorry guys, I guess I don't blog this blog thing as much anymore. It's back to real life for me, having a job, going to school.
That's no joke about the economy either, I'm working as many hours as is humanly possible to try and make some money, thus I have less time for this nonsense no one cares about.
But enough metablog, how about some blog? Today's pictures are from Witten, V's sleepy, industrial hometown. They're big on iron production there I think. Or mining. One of those dangerous things.
I went there to meet her parents and friends, see the place she grew up, etc etc. Also we were on our way to Amsterdam and it's kind of half way between there and Tuebingen.
Meeting her parents went better than expected. Better than meeting any girlfriend's parents ever has gone actually. An especially impressive feat considering they don't speak any English. But food speaks louder than words, just check out this home-cooked-all-vegetarian-mealstravaganza (and this was a lunch!).
So what's Witten got? Well, a lot of power lines for one.
A lot of them.
And other industrial looking stuff, you know.
Witten's one of those towns that's got a 'thing' going for it, like Berlin has bears. Instead of brightly painted festive animals it's got fat businessmen.
This was once a brightly colored fountain, when it stopped working they painted it grey so it would look more like a statue. I guess that's kind of a good way to sum up Witten as a town.
Not that I didn't like, it had a comforting humanity and utilitarianism to it that is sometimes not found in German towns. Next stop Amsterdam.
Also, check out V's blog for her picture report of us going to a Gaza protest in downtown Orlando.

It just wouldn't be moving day without me dramatically injuring myself

Todays pictures are from my trip to Wiesbaden and Niedernhausen where I attended and presented at the EB-ACA conference.

..So here I am, back in Orlando (well, Winter Park to be exact). Spent all day looking for and transporting free furniture from Craigslist (that website is AMAZING++).

Here's my injury story: I was trying to roll a bed through a parkling lot and saw a speedbump coming that I thought those little bed-wheels might be able to clear if I got up enough speed. Well, the thing stopped dead instead and my leg went right into the metal frame. This might sound funny to you but I would have been surprised if it hadn't happened. In fact the only reason I wasn't more seriously injured is because I've done things like this so many times before. Build up a resistance, you know? Not that it doesn't hurt like hell. It really does.
Life in the states has been difficult to adjust to but I am appreciating the little things that make America so American more and more these days. And the things I used to hate about the states I can now categorize as interesting cultural differences.
Living in another country changes you, I think, even if it's only for a few months.
Anyway, tomorrow it's back to work, in a few days it's back to school. A new type of adventure is going to begin (it's an adventure called surviving the monotony of real life) and I'm ready, if not quite excited.
Fear not though, I still got lots of stuff to show you guys from Europe-times.
And I saw an Alligator the other day so tune in for that in about 3 months.

The Chapters in Which A Lapsed American Tries to Reinsert Himself Into Society

Hey folks. Well, I might not be in good old Europa anymore but I can still write a blog right? In fact, I was so far behind that I really have quite a few stories and locations coming up. In the future look for Amsterdam, Cologne, The Canary Islands, Mexico, and much much more! Today's unrelated pictures are from a trip I took to Castle Lictenstein and the alluringly names Mist Cave.
Today I'm going to try something different. Having been absent for the states for so long I sort of feel like a foreigner myself. So in this blog entry I am going to test my Americanosity the only way I know how.
I am going to guess movie plots by the name alone. I know, I know, but I really think that if I can get at least 50 percent right it will prove something about me. I haven't been exposed to any advertising for any of the movies that are out in theaters right now (except maybe know who it stars from a movie poster) and I don't have any prior knowledge. So... here... we...go.
Marley & Me
1st Guess: A touching biopic about the narrators close but often confusing relationship with reggae great bob Marley. Some original footage is included but mostly its completely fictionalized. The Marley family fought hard to have it not be made but what can you do, white people wanted to make it. It's probably so-so.

2nd Guess: Marley is the name of either a dog or monkey or seal that is friends with a child. The pet probably doesn't talk but is personified in other ways (maybe it eats dinner at the table). Heatwarming family fun for all. The mother is divorced and meets a man through the dog's antics. A bad movie.
What it is according to IMDB.com's plot synopsis: A family learns important life lessons from their adorable, but naughty and neurotic dog.

Score: 100 Americas out of 100!!!!

Wow, off to a great start. Maybe I knew what this was about subconciously somehow but I am pretty impressed with myself. You can not count this one if you want, it seems almost impossible that I would have just guessed so accurately.
Bedtime Stories
1st Guess: J-horror imported and worsened for American audiences. A creepy little girl with straight black hair is an evil ghost and no one knows why. She terrifies children who are hearing bedtime stories or something. Starring almost mute but very pretty blonde actress with no personality. Not worth seeing.

2nd Guess: M Night Shamalyian's (not gonna spell check that) newest movie. Three vignettes told in the style of bedtime stories. M. Night is the narrator and he is bluntly self inserted reading the stories to his own real-life son. The first one is about ghosts, the second aliens, the third some kind of stupid monster. There are three twists in the stories and then a 4th even larger twist at the end, like maybe the stories were real and the narration was actually a story. It is exremely bad.
What it is according to IMDB.com's plot synopsis: A family comedy about a hotel handyman whose life changes when the lavish bedtime stories he tells his niece and nephew start to magically come true.

Score: 40 Canadas out of 100 Americas.

I was pretty far off with the percieved genre, who would have thought a movie called "Bedtime Stories" was actually for kids? I am giving myself points for guessing that bedtime stories would magically be coming true.
Yes Man (I know that this stars Jim Carey somehow)
1st Guess: A long awaited sequal to Liar Liar in which Jim Carey can now lie as much as he wants but he has to say yes to everything people ask him to do. He goes sky diving and stuff and then maybe gets tricked into committing a crime when some femme fatale discovers his flaw. Hilarity ensues further when he is asked at police headquarters if he would like to be cavaty searched. Everything is ok in the end. Movie is so bad it makes you wish Jim Carey had stopped acting after Ace Ventura 2.

2nd Guess: Jim Carey is a magical elf that has the power to say "yes" to people's wishes. He goes around giving people exactly what they want with glee but it turns out that sometimes exactly what you want is not exactly what you need. He also learns this lesson despite being some kind of mythical being. Maybe he falls in love. A movie I wouldn't see ever.
What it is according to IMDB.com's plot synopsis: A guy challenges himself to say "yes" to everything for an entire year.

Score: 80 Texases out of 100 Americas.

Whelp. Wrap it up American Movie Industry. I've got you down cold. Except maybe the source of his saying yes is self induced and not magical, but otherwise a pretty awesome guess. Maybe the movie is just named really well. By the way, I tried this very same self-experiment about 8 months ago and it turned out pretty awesome. I went to Europe. Consequently this might not be.
Seven Pounds (starring the Fresh Prince)
1st Guess: Will Smith has to lose or gain 7 pounds in order to land an important movie roll. It is really important to him for some reason and is very dramatic. Maybe he isn't an actor but is either a boxer or a wrestler who needs to be of a certain weight class to compete. I am kind of at a loss, 7 pounds being important enough to be a title is kind of tough. Regardless, he is gruff and unlikable until a woman cracks his hard exterior. Probably not too bad since Will Smith is in it, but I'm still not going to see it.

2nd Guess: There is some important object that weighs 7 pounds that Will Smith has to transport over some distance. This is made difficult by the presence of ENEMIES and explosions. Possible things weighing 7 pounds: 7 pounds of drugs, a baby, a crystal skull. This movie sounds completely awesome, he might even say "Aw Hell Naw" in it.
What it is according to IMDB.com's plot synopsis: An IRS agent with a fateful secret embarks on an extraordinary journey of redemption by forever changing the lives of seven strangers.

Score: 20 Frances out of 100 Americas. :( :(

I got this one pretty wrong but I have to blame the title. I mean, what the hell? 7 pounds? I am giving myself a few points because I am still absolutely sure about the love interest. I might see this movie.
Valkyrie
1st Guess: I know it's not an enormous epic special effects extravaganza with a huge budget about legendary scandanavian warrior women in some fantasy world, but how cool would that be? More likely it's some modern woman who is brave about something and is therefor just like a Valkyrie. Maybe she kills men or maybe she gets raped. I don't care for it on a number of levels.

2nd Guess: Could also, inexplicably, be a war movie. I am thinking WWI or WWII, named after some secret file or some secret batallion or some secret ship. Maybe there were women fighting in the war SECRETLY. It's very gritty and uses a shakey-cam. I would rather not.
What it is according to IMDB.com's plot synopsis: Based on actual events, a plot to assassinate Hitler is unfurled during the height of WWII.

Score: 90 American Samoas out of 100 Americas!
I am pretty impressed here. Maybe again this is a case of vaguely repressed knowledge, but I think I am just a good guesser and a good American. It sounds kind of cool actually. Probably it is a femme fatale who tries to assassinate him and she probably does get raped at some point.
Well, this exercise was pretty awesome. Tune in next time when I do a few more since this was so fun. Peace fellas, keep on readin.
Castle Count: 11 by the way

An Intractable Moron Goes Home

WASSSSSUP!!!!
Haha, it's me, yer bro, an Intractable Moron. Jesse is too busy getting his bags packed and flying back to America to do a farewell blog so he asked me to do it for him (these are pictures of some lame town he was living in for like 2 months called tubbington or some lame s**t like that)
So I guess I am pretty happy cause guess why? I'm going back to America too, the greatest country on earth.
And todays blog entry is gonna tell you why sucka
First we have way awesomer stuff. You know like pink polo tshirts with popped collars and big SUVs although I guess they got less popular since some exonomic crisis or something (I love that game).
Second we have the baddest states, New Jersey, Texas, Boston, man there are so many great ones I forgot to name them all. Like california, I forgot to name that. Do you think that some lame s**t like baden-wuteverburg can compete with that (its got bad in its name for a reason!)
Hell no because you can't mess with the united state's states, these states don't run (not even from iraq!)!
Third of all how come Europitians are always talking out they mouth like they've got the most progressive countries or whatever when really they are a bunch of fassists. If have youre so free then how come you cant have guns?? Show me your guns europe and then we can talk like real men do (with guns).
Step four, sometimes on german magazine covers or books or something you can see a chick's titties right on the cover. Can you believe that s**t? Can we get something like that going down in america too? That one didnt have anything to do with the united states but ive been thinking about it a lot
And finally the fifth and final and most important reasons why I LOVE the united states better (never forget!) is because of all my awesome brosefs and brosefinas who are living there. THEY ARE CRAZY AND OUT OF CONTROL. Man I love you guys and so I'm coming back to chizill again w you all!!
Maybe not forever though, europe rocked pretty hard and so i'll probably come back some day like maybe when i'm not out of money!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo

-An Intractable Moron