An Intractable Moron Visits the German Wine Country

LOL SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP'! Represent back in europe with my number one dutchland peeps!
I learned in the airport when I get hear 3 dayz ago that the germans are really dutch and there countrys called Dutchland. Maybe thats where dutch master's come from lol..
You might be axing yourself why I might've returned to here, the historic home of beer pong and other rocking things when I had just left like: "I'm outy" only a few year and a halfs ago to return to america land of the free? Well, it turns out that I gotta come back cuz of some kinda lame @ss bull$hit about defacing some momunment and a international incident (sp?) tribunal trial and shit so to pair a phrase my boy "guess who's back??" Those were soem good times lol.
And you know I gotsta visit me some German wine country. Were talkin like everyone here is MESSED UP around the clock like so bad they cant even speak english anymore. Some dude was like "Spreken ze dutch?" to me and I was like "DAAAAAAMN SON U WASTED :)"
But ya I've been gettin my drink on not gonna lie, even tho last time I blacked out and woke up with some boot on my head in garbage can, but since when's that ever stopped ya boy??
So mainly I've just been chillin', checkin up on some fine german honeys and broing back some broskis with my bros.
These pics are from a town I stopped by through on the way to wherever this g@y-ass trials gonna be. I'm like roll up a jury on me, I dare you, go upside they're head with my belt, ya herd?
I think it's called Eatin' Clovin' or something.
It was "very nice!" (you remeber that movie Bort? That was MY MOVIE). Kindof a little quite for me, but they have these wineyards here and a bunch of statues and plaques and this thing made out of wood and it was pretty cool.
NE ways I think I gottsa to roll now some dude is yelling at me in dutch, it's like "calm down lt. red face, maybe you should go an concur poland again if you want to be such a facist lol" PEACE OUT PEEPS, FREEDOM!

An Intractable Moron Goes Home

WASSSSSUP!!!!
Haha, it's me, yer bro, an Intractable Moron. Jesse is too busy getting his bags packed and flying back to America to do a farewell blog so he asked me to do it for him (these are pictures of some lame town he was living in for like 2 months called tubbington or some lame s**t like that)
So I guess I am pretty happy cause guess why? I'm going back to America too, the greatest country on earth.
And todays blog entry is gonna tell you why sucka
First we have way awesomer stuff. You know like pink polo tshirts with popped collars and big SUVs although I guess they got less popular since some exonomic crisis or something (I love that game).
Second we have the baddest states, New Jersey, Texas, Boston, man there are so many great ones I forgot to name them all. Like california, I forgot to name that. Do you think that some lame s**t like baden-wuteverburg can compete with that (its got bad in its name for a reason!)
Hell no because you can't mess with the united state's states, these states don't run (not even from iraq!)!
Third of all how come Europitians are always talking out they mouth like they've got the most progressive countries or whatever when really they are a bunch of fassists. If have youre so free then how come you cant have guns?? Show me your guns europe and then we can talk like real men do (with guns).
Step four, sometimes on german magazine covers or books or something you can see a chick's titties right on the cover. Can you believe that s**t? Can we get something like that going down in america too? That one didnt have anything to do with the united states but ive been thinking about it a lot
And finally the fifth and final and most important reasons why I LOVE the united states better (never forget!) is because of all my awesome brosefs and brosefinas who are living there. THEY ARE CRAZY AND OUT OF CONTROL. Man I love you guys and so I'm coming back to chizill again w you all!!
Maybe not forever though, europe rocked pretty hard and so i'll probably come back some day like maybe when i'm not out of money!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo

-An Intractable Moron

An Intractable Moron Visits Europe

Hi everyone jesse's takin a break from blogging and so he asked me, an intractable moron, to write today's update for him. I'm supposed to talk about what things about europe I liked but lets be real europes not much of a country so its gonna be a short list lol
just kidding europe has been pretty good to me so far, but its no USA. Seriously god bless those 48 eagles (the states are the eagles, I don't count those other 2), never forget.
Anyway whats good about euope is mainly i think the free drinking
you can drink in public and anywhere and no one gives you a hard time, this one time I saw dude getting wasted in a church I SWEAR
And also kids are allowed to drink. or maybe thier not and just nobody cares if they do but really its the same. And this one time I went to amsterdamn and you KNOW what they do theyre am I right? HaHA just playing yo I don't admit to anything ;-))
so I guess number 1 is drinking, but it costs so much money. at first i thought it wasnt so expensive here just normla but than i noticed that they charge all your debit card in EUROES and that costs more for some reason and also my bank was a total DICKS about it and some kind of charge who knows.
the other cool thing is sometimes girls walk around with no shirt on on beaches. I havn't actully seen this but I heard on one message board that it's pretty common. I'd like to see that if you know what I mean ; )
But i guess it wouldn't be so great if they didn't shave there armpits I mean come on how gorss cant it possibly get?
And anoter good thing is that the girls here aren't so fat as they are in merica. Like if you ever walk through a wallmart DAMN thats some fat people and its not like that here for some reason.
Oh and also they eat trancefat here like ALL THE TIME I knew that stuff wasnt really bad for you they know whats up, If its so bad for you how come all of euopre aint fat huh??
So over al I think it was a good kind of thing to go to eurpoe because i saw a lot of things like arches and churchs and castels and old things like that but its worse cauze noone speaks english here and thats SUCKS
and also they have burger kings and stuff but the menu is different and it costs more what is UP With that?
One time I saw a anarchist
PEACE (-<)

-An intractable moron
(these pictures areof Insel Mainau or whatever its like a germany walt disney world but with plants and gardens instead of rides ops I almost forgot to say it what it was lol)